State of Grace
by BurningxRedxCaskett
Summary: My version of STILL...has since moved into AU territory. "He continues to be stubborn; she continues to insist he leave. She should have known that he wouldn't leave her." M rating just in case
1. Treacherous

**Authors note:** This is my first _Castle_ fic. I'm pretty excited about it. Not sure if I'm going to make it a chapter story yet…we'll see.

I started this at the 'I love you' scene in "Still". I kept the dialogue, but added what I thought could have been going on in Beckett and Castle's minds through out the scene.

Hope you like, and please, tell me how I did.

Reviews are love, leave some.

-Krystle

**CB**

As the broken man before her turns to leave-as she requested-she comes to realize that if this is really the end for her, she can't die without telling him how she feels.

Holding back her tears, or trying to, she calls out his name, "Rick!" When he turns to her, she attempts to smile at him, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he returns, without hesitation, and the ghost of a smile on his lips.

This isn't exactly how she planned on telling him. In a perfect world, she'd plan something romantic-or he would-she may have told Alexis what her plans were; in no so many details, no need to scar the poor girl. She'd set up a miniature scavenger hunt each little clue getting him closer to his prize.

But fate had other plans. She's standing on a bomb and if they can't defuse it, she'll end up dying in ten minutes. She's never wanted to be in his arms more than she does in this moment. Of course, she'd rather be in the darkest ally in New York than to be standing on this bomb-her death warrant.

She tries, and fails, to hold back her tears as he does as she asks, once more, and turns his back on her. Once the door closes, she allows herself to fall apart. She fancy's herself Wonder Woman, and has many a time been strong in the face of danger, but this seems to be far too much for her to wrap her head around. She's going to be blown to smithereens in a matter of minutes and there's nothing she can do but have faith that the bomb squad figures out the code to defuse the bomb before it explodes.

She thinks of other things to keep her mind occupied. She replays every moment she and Castle have shared over the years. How stupid and guarded she was when he was right in front of her like he told her last year.

"_For four years, I've been right here!"_

In the back of her mind, and she will deny this if she's asked, she knew that they would end up together. There has been this attraction between them since day one, and she was foolish to not act on it sooner.

She calls her dad, to tell him that she loves him. She needed to hear his voice one last time, and to leave him with a little bit of her to remember. Hanging up her phone, she shoves it back in her pants pocket, and rolls her head back, closing her eyes, trying to even out her breathing.

"Hey, what are you doing? Napping? Cause I can come back later."

She's shocked. He came back. "Castle, what are you doing here? You promised-."

"Yeah, I promised that I'd leave, I didn't promise that I wouldn't come back. I got coffee, later for when you're off that thing."

"No Castle please, you have to leave, there's no reason for both of us to die."

"Oh, I didn't come here to die; I came here to defuse the bomb."

He continues to be stubborn; she continues to insist he leave. She should have known that he wouldn't leave her. Once they realize that the bomb wasn't set for cops, they begin to unravel every detail they could. Finding out that he's got a kid, Castle figures out that the defuse code is the kids name.

"_William,"_ Ryan says, _"the kid's name is William!"_

"William," Castle repeats, his heart dropping slightly. "Seven letters." Looking to Beckett, he can see the defeat in her eyes, "Billy!"

"_Or, Willy,"_ Ryan says, really not helping.

"_What kind of mother is gonna call her kid 'Willy' unless she wants his ass kicked everyday at school?!" _Esposito asks.

"Guys!" Castle shouts, shutting them up. Meeting his girlfriends eyes, "Your call, Beckett."

She trusts him, "Billy. Go."

He types in the code, "B-I-L-L-Y"

They hear the same clicking sound that triggered the bomb to start counting down, the timer runs out. Nothing. Taking a breath, Beckett slowly lifts one foot out of the damned red circle, and when she is still standing, no explosion, she launches into Castle's arms.

"Castle!" she sighs out with relief, hugging him close to her.

"She's off!" he informs the waiting ears on the other end of his phone, pulling her closer to him, if that's possible. He kisses her hair, thanking God, or the universe, or whomever he can, that she's in his arms. These close calls and near misses with her life are starting become a pattern, and he's not thrilled about it. He knows that her job means there are risks out there for her every day, but that doesn't mean he has to like it.

He barely remembers hanging up after letting the boys know that Kate was safe. As she clings to him, he pulls her close, kisses her head, and repeats in her ear a few times, "I love you, I love you so much, Kate."

For the first time since she's been stuck standing still, and the first time since she's been in his arms, Kate finally smiles. She's safe. She's in Castle's arms, and he loves her. Well, she knew he did. He's told her plenty of times, and bless his loving heart that he waited until she was ready to finally say it back. Sure it was when she thought she was going to die, but she meant every word of what she said to him. She keeps her arms wrapped around him, but brings her head back to look at his handsome face. Her eyes, so full of love for the man in front of her, shine brightly like diamonds. She opens her mouth to return his words of love, but jumps almost ten feet away from him when she hears the bomb squad rushing into the apartment.

_Damn them and their timing,_ she thinks, as she points them in the direction of the bomb.

They hurry out of the building, Kate gripping his hand as tight as she can. Once in the middle of the street, she turns to him, "Castle, listen. Thanks for staying up there with me."

He half smiles at her, his next word holds so much meaning to them both, "Always."

She smiles wildly at him, and leans in and again they jump apart as a siren sounds, a red police car pulling up, Ryan, Espo and Gates step out and make their way over to the pair.

Ryan hugs Castle, "Perfect timing."

Espo heads over to Beckett, "You okay?"

She nods, "Yeah," hugging him back, whispers, "Did she see?"

"No."

Gates smiles at Castle and Beckett, finally catching up to her team. "It's great to see you, Detective, even you mister Castle. I don't know too many men who would have done what you did."

"Neither do I, Sir," Kate says, sideways smiling at her boyfriend, he smiles back at her, both standing there awkwardly, wanting nothing more than to be in the other person's arms.

Gates looks back and forth between the two and rolls her eyes slightly, "Oh for Heaven's sake, Detective. Just," waving her hand, "kiss the man."

Espo's eyebrows shoot up, Kate and Castle look shocked, and worried at the same time, "Sir you know?"

"What? Do you think I'm an idiot? I had to maintain plausible deniability, which I can continue. As long as you two can keep it professional at the precinct."

Always the jokester, "I know I can, but Captain, she has a long history of coming on to me at work-"

Kate cuts him off, "I don't think it'll be a problem, Sir."

"Good," Gates smiles, "Now, as long as we're all on the same page, I'd say, he deserves it, wouldn't you?"

Kate smiles, blushing slightly, "Yes, Sir I would."

Rick puts his arms around Kate's waist, pulling her to him, and she pulls her mouth away from him, "You know, Castle, when I was standing up there I kept thinking about all the times we kissed. And I was trying to decide on the best one."

"And what do you think?"

She smiles at him, "I think we're just getting started."

**CB**

After returning to the precinct, and doing the paperwork for the case, Beckett walks into Gate's office as she requested she do before she leaves for the night.

"You wanted to see me, Sir?"

"You did some good work today, Detective," Gates praises her. "I want you to take a couple of days, calm down from the day's events."

"Sir, I'm fine," Beckett tries to argue. But Gates holds up her hand.

"Detective, go spend the weekend with your man. Ryan and Esposito can handle it. We will see you and Castle back here on Tuesday."

Kate smiles at the woman, "Thank you, Capitan." She walks out of Gates' office, and smiles to herself when she sees Castle sitting in his chair next to her desk, and a cup of coffee next to her computer. She walks over to him, and when he looks up at her she smiles, "Let's call it a night, Castle."

"Sounds good to me," he says, standing. He gathers her coat, as she reaches for the coffee. He notices a shift in her mood, "Is everything okay?"

Stepping inside the elevator with him, she nods, "Everything's fine." Once the elevator doors close, she reaches for his hand and laces their fingers. Turning to face him, she gives him a light kiss. "Gates gave me tomorrow and Monday off."

His eyebrows shoot up, "Really?"

"Yeah."

His devilish mind is already forming all the things he's going to do to her, with her. She's his, no interruptions for four whole days. His night just got better. He smiles at her, "How kind of her."

Kate nods, "I thought so." Pushing him up against the wall of the elevator, she kisses him fiercely, "What do you say we get our things packed and head to the Hamptons? We'll turn our phones off, and shut the world out and just be together. No murder, no Martha, no Alexis, no Gates…" _no bombs._

"I say, that's the best idea I've heard all day."

She smiles wildly at him, and when the elevator dings, they walk hand and hand to her car. "I'll see you in half an hour."

"I'll be ready," he replies.

She leans up to kiss him, longer this time, and rests her forehead on his. "I love you, Rick."

He will never get tired of hearing those words come out of her mouth, "I love you too, Kate."

_This slope is treacherous,_

_This path is reckless,_

_This slope is treacherous,_

_And I, I, I, like it_


	2. My Cure

**Authors Note: **thank you for the response to my first _Castle_ story. I'm going to try to add what you guys want to see happen. This will most likely not follow the last episode of the season, there will be a proposal…but with my own twist.

**Review Responses:**

**DX2012:** thank you for your review. I tried to respond to you, but you have your PM off, so this will have to do. Thank you for catching my errors, I honestly read over that chapter three times, but we all know that another pair of eyes is better. I'm sans-beta, so I appreciate your keen eye! I have since revised the chapter.

**Prettylittlethingsamantha:** well, here's more. Hope you like it

**Sportslover12andfflover3:** glad you loved it!

Tell me what you guys think of this chapter!

Reviews are love, leave some.

-Krystle

**CB**

Castle begins the drive to the Hamptons, pointing the car in the direction of the interstate. Once out on the open road, the stress of the day that he and Beckett had begins to fade away, and all he can do is thank his lucky stars for the woman in his passenger seat. As if she feels his thoughts, she turns her head and smiles at him.

"What?" she asks.

"Just-nothing," he says, smiling back at her.

She eyes him, there's something going on in his head, but she'll leave him be…for now. She reaches her left hand over and rests it on Rick's right thigh. Smiling when he jumps a little at the touch. As much as she wants to tease him, she doesn't want to cause a wreck. Instead of running her hand up and down his leg the way she wants to, she moves her thumb in small strokes.

It's a short hour drive to his Hampton's home, made in a comfortable silence, the couple just happy being with each other. Pulling onto the long stretch of driveway to his private estate, Kate's stomach swarms with butterflies. She was sure this phase of her relationship with Rick-the nervous, stage-would have been over. Its not that she's nervous, it's more excitement, she says to herself. Being with him, shut out from the world…what more could she ask for?

Stopping the car, Castle quickly walks around to her door, opening it for her and reaches his hand out, "My lady, your weekend awaits you."

She smiles, and shakes her head, "Just you and me for four days? Whatever will we do with ourselves, Castle?"

"I've got a few ideas," he says, leaning down to kiss her, "All of which, include a LOT of kissing, and no clothes."

She raises an eyebrow at him, "well, what are you waiting for?" She leans in, resting her hands on the buttons of his shirt, and in her sexy bedroom voice, whispers, "take me to bed, Rick."

**CB**

Okay, so this isn't _exactly_ what Kate had in mind when she told him to take her to bed, but as his hand makes its way under her shirt to massage her breast, she can't seem to form a coherent thought. He's got her pushed up against the foyer wall, her sweater has made its way to the floor, and her hands have managed to find their way to the buttons of his shirt. She manages to unbutton the first few before she becomes impatient, and yanks the fabric, little pops heard as the buttons break from the material.

Castle lifts his lips momentarily from her neck and mumbles, "This was my favorite shirt."

"Oops," Kate replies, breathlessly, bringing his mouth to hers in a heated kiss.

Neither one of them want slow, and passionate right now. They want hard, and rough, and fast-not too fast, cause where's the fun in that? They need to feel each other yes, but right now, this moment, they need to feel alive.

Her hands fumble with his belt, and then make quick work of his pants, sliding them roughly down his hips, pooling at his feet. Her shirt comes off over her head, and she shimmy's out of her pants, gasping when Rick's mouth comes in contact with her breast, while his hand slips down and moves her panties-if you can call the scrap of cloth she's wearing 'panties'-to the side to accommodate his fingers.

"God, Castle," she sighs, biting his shoulder.

"First name's 'Rick', not 'God'," he whispers against her breast, pumping his fingers roughly inside of her.

"Please," Kate whispers, throwing her head back as she tries to steady her shaky legs, wrapping one around his hip.

Rick grabs her other leg, bringing it up with him, and soon his fingers are replaced with his manhood, causing a loud groan of pleasure to be released from Kate's mouth.

He knows that she needs this release as much as he does, as the events of the day play over and over in his head; his thrusts become faster, harder. Her moans are enough to convince him that she's enjoying this as much as he is.

She repeats his name, a mantra flowing from her lips; her hair sticking to her sweaty face, this image of _his_ Kate will forever be etched in his mind. She's close, he can tell. The way her muscles are contracting around him, the way her hand is tugging at the hair on the nape of his neck, and her teeth digging into his shoulder. He's right there with her.

"Let go, Kate."

"With you," she stutters.

"I'm with you, Kate," he assures her, pumping into her harder, his hand sneaking between them to massage her sensitive nub.

As her world falls apart around her, he spills into her. Her cries of pleasure, and his groans, she's sure can be heard from his neighbor's house-miles away.

They've never felt more alive. He turns them around, and slides down the wall to the floor, still joined, and Kate in his lap. She lifts her head from his shoulder, and smiles a satisfied, sleepy smile at him, kissing him softly, resting her forehead on his.

"I'm sorry," she says, a finger tracing the very apparent bite marks on his shoulder.

"Don't be," he says, pushing a strand of hair from her face, "doesn't even hurt."

She grins at him, "As amazing as this was, take me to _bed_."

_I'll be safe inside,_

_If baby you would be my cure_


	3. Mine

**Authors Note:** Sorry for the long wait on this chapter. The last couple of months have been terrible for me. The first weekend of August I went with my mom to say our goodbyes to my Aunt, and her best friend since they were five. We get home, and ten days later get a call from my cousin telling us that Aunt Terri had passed. Cancer is a bitch. Mom then got sick and was put off of work until the end of this month, maybe longer, depending on how she's doing, leaving me as the only money maker in the house. Yesterday was my Aunt's funeral, and we made the five hour drive, to stay for three hours, to drive back home for another five, so needless to say, the last few weeks have been hectic.

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Reviews are love, leave some.

Krystle

* * *

**CB**

Rick kisses the side of Kate's head, running a hand down her back, "Do you think you can walk?"

"My legs are still wobbly from ten minutes ago, Rick," Kate answers, lifting her head to smile sleepily at him. "You really did a number on me that time." She leans in and kisses him sweetly, and rests her forehead on his, "but I'm not complaining, it was…"

"Yeah, it was," he agrees. He gently eases himself up, pulling Kate with him, she has her arm around his neck, he picks her up bridal style, ignoring the scattered clothes in the foyer-they'll still be there after they wake up.

Kate giggles, "Castle, I could have walked if I leaned on you."

"Let me take care of you this weekend, Kate."

"Okay, but if you end up picking my clothes every day, I brought my gun," she jokes.

"You wouldn't shoot me," he smiles, and points out, "You love me too much, you'd miss me."

Kate runs a hand down his slightly stubbled cheek, "I do love you, Rick. So much." Grinning she leans up to his ear, bites it softly, "I guess my cuffs will just have to do."

**CB**

Rick is the first to wake from their nap. He looks at the clock-the red numbers showing that its half past eight. He turns and takes in Kate's sleeping form. She's on her stomach, hair fanned out across the pillow, her left leg bent at the knee and the right hanging off the bed.

Under any normal circumstance, she would feel him staring at her, and mumble to quit watching her sleep that it was creepy. He smiles; he really wore her out earlier. He pushes an unruly curl out of her face and kisses her forehead-she stirs, but doesn't wake.

Sliding out of the bed, he slips on a pair of pajama pants he keeps here, and lights a fire so its not dark when she wakes up, and then he heads for the kitchen. Looking around, he decides to make a dish he saw on Kate's Pinterest a few days ago. He pulls out the ingredients, and preheats the oven then he begins to prepare the meal.

As the meal is cooking, he sets the table. Two candles in the center, lit and flickering with his movement. Two wine glasses, and his best white wine, chilled and ready to pour. A single red rose from one of his bushes in the front of the house. He wants this night to be special. He wants her to be surprised.

**CB**

The smell of the wonderful dish Castle is making trickles down the hallway to the bedroom, rousing a sleeping Kate from her slumber. She stretches, and reaches an arm out to his side of the bed only to be met with cold sheets. Opening her foggy eyes, she sits up in bed. He's lit a fire, so it's not dark in the room, looking at the clock she notices that it's after nine. She didn't intend to pass out for the rest of the night.

She grabs the robe that Castle placed at the end of the bed for her at some point since he's been up, and heads to the bathroom. She looks in the mirror at her reflection at her 'sex hair', as her boyfriend would call it, she smiles, deciding to leave it. She knows what this will do to his already over sized ego, but she loves him, and if knowing that her hair is like this because of him will make him happy, then she's okay with it. She has her ways of making him come down off of his pedestal if she really wanted him to.

She pads down the hallway, and when she reaches the dining room, she leans against the wall, just watching him mill about the kitchen. She could watch him for the rest of her life, be with him for the rest of her life, and it wouldn't be long enough. She hates that she was so closed off to what was right in front of her for four years, before she finally let the wall crumble and accept him, his love, and everything that they were, are, and going to be.

Without turning around to face her, he says, "has anyone ever told you that it's impolite to stare, Detective?"

The smile that graces her face, is wide, and happy, "once or twice, but what can I say?" she crosses the room to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind, kissing the space between his bare shoulders, resting a cheek on his back. "My boyfriend's bad habits are rubbing off on me."

"Bad habits aren't the only thing that's rubbed off on you."

"Castle!" she exclaims, thanking God that he hasn't turned around to face her yet, because she would never live down the torture she'd get from him if he saw the crimson on her cheeks.

"Oh, you know it's true," he says, turning in her arms, bringing his hand up to pull her face towards him. "And you love every minute of it."

She smiles, nods, and leans in, closing the gap between their lips. "Guilty as charged." Their kiss is soft, and loving, how she's gone so long without kissing him is beyond her. The rumble of her stomach breaks the moment, and she rests her forehead on his. "Sorry."

"Don't be," he says, "I'm hungry too." _For more than just food_.

"What did you make?" she asks, looking around at the slightly messy kitchen.

He pours her a glass of wine, and says, "Something that I'm sure you've been wanting for a while." Kate looks at him expectantly, "Why don't you go and sit at the table, I'll bring the food to you."

She sips her wine and smiles, "I can't wait."

As Kate's eyes roam over the table-the two lit candles, the place settings-she smiles. If you'd ask her a year ago if she ever imagined herself in a relationship with Richard Castle, she'd laugh in your face-and deny to the moon and back that she had any feelings for the writer.

If she was being honest with herself, she's known since LA that she was without a doubt in love with him. It was just a matter of breaking down the damn wall she built around herself. Yes, she's had boyfriends, Demming and Josh, but those were meaningless. She's always been a 'one and done' type of girl. She knew that Rick was the one she wanted to spend her life with; but having been burned by love, and by the events of her past; the murder of her mother, the alcoholism of her father, she needed to work on her heart before she was ready to give it to Rick fully.

"Dinner is served," Rick says, placing a basket of garlic bread and the baked pasta in the middle of the table.

Kate smiles, "This is-"

"The spinach and artichoke baked pasta that you saw on Pinterest last week," he says smiling, "I know you wanted to wait for a special occasion, and I think that saving you from being blown up is a special occasion."

She smiles, the smile only reserved for him, and leans up to kiss him softly, "When did you have time to print this off?"

"You should pay more attention, Kate," he says, "after you pinned it you took a shower, I took that as my opportunity to print the recipe."

"Well, it looks and smells amazing," she says, "let's eat."

**CB**

Neither of them realize just how famished they were until the baked pasta was three-quarters of the way gone and they were fighting over the last piece of garlic bread. Castle breaks the bread in half, offering it to Beckett. She smiles at him, accepting his offering.

"Well, this was a pretty successful dinner," Kate says, taking a bite of the bread, she doesn't protest when Castle reaches over, and places his hand on her slightly exposed thigh. She looks up at him, noticing the shift in his features. "What's wrong, Rick?"

"Nothing," he says, as convincingly as possible, and notices her 'not buying it' face. "Standing up there with you today, I was scared."

"Rick-"

"Please, just, let me say this," at her nod he continues. "I was scared, Kate. I knew the risks; I knew that there may be a chance that bomb squad wouldn't figure out the code, so I came back. I will always come back for you, you know that. I just couldn't accept the fact that it could have been the end. I just got you, after years of waiting, and watching you with Demming, and Josh, after the shooting-I finally have you. No amount of time with you will ever be enough.

Standing up there with you, I realized, I want more. I want you every single day, every hour, every minute, and every second. That will never change. My heart is yours. I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you each night. I want to watch as your body changes from the effects of being pregnant with our children, I want it all, Kate.

So, I guess what I'm asking, is, will you marry me?"

Her eyes are misty with unshed tears, as she sees him pull a ring box out of his pajama pants. This wasn't exactly the setting she imagined him to propose in-and yes, she's imagined it, but she knows that no _place_ is perfect, it's perfect because it's _him_.

"Yes, Rick," she whispers with a smile, "Yes, okay."

Pure joy is present on his face as he slips the ring on, a perfect fit on her trembling finger. He leans in and kisses her softly, "I love you, Kate."

"I love you too, Rick." She whispers back, running a hand through his hair. "Everything you said, I want too. I don't care about your past, because it's made you who you are, and I love the man you've become. You're my one and done; but I guess you've already known that."

"I had a feeling," he says smiling, "well, I had hoped."

"It's you, always," she whispers, leaning in to kiss him, the dinner mess on the table long forgotten. His hands fumble with the knot on her robe and she breaks away from him long enough to whisper, "make love to me, Rick."

_You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter,_

_You are the best thing,_

_That's ever been mine_

* * *

**Okay...so this wasn't exactly where I planned on this going...my muse is a funny little thing.**


	4. Red

**Authors Note:** This is my first time writing a "romantic" smut scene...I've written smut before...but nothing as romantic, and thought out as this. Hope you enjoy it.

**Authors Note2:** Changed my user name...I was bored of the other one...

Reviews are love, leave some.

-Krystle

* * *

This time, Rick takes his time with her. He's already committed Kate's body to memory. What she likes, when she likes it, what drives her completely mad-like now, him sucking on her pulse point. The way his name falls from her lips in pure ecstasy is enough for him to completely lose what little self control he may have had.

He gently lays Kate on the bed, sliding the robe from her shoulder-his lips replacing the fallen material as Kate brings a leg up to cradle him between her thighs, needing some contact with him. He can't help but smile down at her when he releases her shoulder.

"What?" she asks, smiling back at him, a hand coming up to rest on his cheek, her thumb rubbing soft circles.

He brushes an ornery curl from her forehead as he says, "You're beautiful, Kate." She goes to protest, but he stops her with a kiss. "You're beautiful, and you're mine."

"Always," she whispers, wiggling her left hand at him. "This is never going to come off. I'm not letting you go. Divorce is not an option with us. We will work through our problems, but I'm never going to call it quits. We wasted too much time; the rest of our lives isn't long enough to be together."

"I'm glad to know that we're on the same page," Rick says, kissing her mouth, and continuing down her jaw to her neck, over her collar bone until he comes to the scar. He almost lost her that day, watched her flat line in the ambulance on the way to the hospital; and the blood, so much blood.

His finger traces the scar, as his head floods with memories of that day. Only when Kate's hand strokes his hair, does he realize that she knows what he's thinking. He leans down then, in the valley between her breasts, and kisses her scar-the constant reminder of just how close they came to not being here in this moment. He feels her heart beating beneath his lips, and he's sure that it's about to beat out of her chest with how fast it's pumping.

"You're heart is beating so fast, Kate," he whispers.

"My heart always beats this fast when I'm around you, Rick. When you walk into the precinct and I see you, when you kiss me, when you touch me. You do this to me," she says, "You drive me crazy."

"Tell me what you want, Kate."

"You, Rick. I just want you."

And he smiles. He'll never get sick of hearing those words. He resumes his admiration of her body, abandoning her scar, kissing down her stomach and around her belly button-which does have evidence of a piercing, but it's since scarred over. Maybe if he pleads, she'll re-pierce it, show it off in a bikini over the summer?

When he skips over her mound, she whimpers, he's teasing her, he knows it, and so does she, but he wants to appreciate every part of her body.

She's already glistening with her want and need for him at just the touch of his mouth and hands. He makes his way to her other leg, kissing his way up, his mouth blazing a trail up her body. One of his hands comes up and his index finger teases her folds, causing a shiver to travel up her spine.

She's not prepared for his mouth to come in contact with her swollen bundle of nerves, and when it does, the moan could break glass, he's sure of it. He will never get tired of seeing Kate surrender herself to him. He's waited too long to watch her fall apart beneath him, he'll never get the image out of his head.

When his tongue darts out to taste her, he swears he can hear her moan out, _"Oh, fuck, Castle."_ But he doesn't stop to find out. He slips three of his skilled fingers into her, her walls instantly gripping them, letting him know that he is once again, making her more than satisfied.

He moves his fingers in time with his licks, and sucks, his other hand on her belly to hold her hips down. When she bucks her hips to meet his ministrations, he curls his three fingers, hitting her _right there_ and smiles into her folds as that is her undoing.

Her right hand flies to his head, pushing him further into her as she rides the waves of pleasure brought on by him, his name falling off of her lips, a mantra, a song, just for him. She fists his hair, and pulls his head up, an unspoken need to feel his lips on hers, taste herself on him.

He slides up her body as she shakes uncontrollably from pleasure, meeting her lips. He tastes like her, and she can't help the flutter of her heart when she realizes that he is _hers_ forever. The firelight dances off of her diamond engagement ring, and she can't help the tear that escapes from her eyes.

Of course, he notices the dampness on her face and brushes the tear away, "What's wrong, Kate?"

She smiles at him, "Nothing. Everything is so, so right."

"Why the tears?"

Her hand connects with his cheek; she kisses him again, and without warning, wraps her legs around his waist-he's still in his pajama pants. _Not cool,_ she thinks, and expertly flips them over, "You're mine forever, Castle. I'm so happy."

He smiles, "Good."

Nodding, she leans down, "Very good, and I'm about show just how _good_."

She kisses him again, and trails her lips across his jaw, down his neck, her breasts rubbing against his stomach. She smiles into his skin when he takes a sharp breath. She takes her time as well, worshiping every perfect angle of his body, her nails dragging against him as she slides farther south.

"We have to get you out of these pants, Castle," she whispers, her hand cupping him-or most of him-through his pajamas. "As sexy as you are, I find you sexier without clothes."

"Do something about it, Detective," he says, blue eyes meeting brown.

He raises his hips off the bed, and she yanks his pants down, letting him kick them off somewhere in the room, his member springing free. He's much larger than anyone she's ever been with-although, she really shouldn't be surprised.

Her hand grabs him; she smiles to herself when he takes another sharp breath. She's going to enjoy herself, that's for sure. She expertly pumps his shaft with her right hand, as she leans down to suck on one of his testicles, releasing it with a 'pop', before moving to his tip.

She thumbs off the moisture, and licks her lips, leaning down, enveloping him in her mouth, her hand still working him. His hand flies to her hair, as he whispers, "Kate."

She 'hums' in response, causing him to groan, and his member twitch inside her mouth. She's really good at what she does, and has been holding out on him, waiting for a special occasion to show him one more trick she does. Their engagement night is a pretty special occasion, she decides.

She relaxes her muscles, subtly takes a deep breath through her nose, and places both of her hands on his hips to hold him down; she takes him fully into her mouth, and she doesn't miss the very audible moan that escapes him as her lips come in contact with the base of him at his pelvis.

"Jesus, Kate!"

Another 'hum' from her, and he's going over baseball statistics in his head, he doesn't want this to end just yet. Kate gulps on him, and slowly releases him from her mouth, smiling as she looks at him.

"You okay, Castle?"

"Better than," he says after a few moments, trying to calm himself. But calming himself doesn't last as she grabs him, and places him at her opening. She grabs for his hands, holding one on her hip, and lacing her fingers with his other as she slides down. "You feel amazing, Kate."

"Mmhm," she says, her head thrown back, "So do you."

Once she's adjusted to him, she looks down at him, their eyes locked on each other. She leans down and kisses him again-she just can't get enough of him. The new position feels amazing, even more amazing when he starts moving beneath her.

After a moment, and a few thrusts of his hips, she starts circling her hips to meet his. Sitting back up she moves easier, his hand that was holding her hip falls, and his thumb comes in contact with her clit, getting an _Oh, God, Castle_ from her. Her hand untangles from his, and she puts both of her arms behind her to rest on his calves, leaning back slightly, giving him a better angle and allowing him to thrust into her faster.

"Let go, Kate," Rick says.

"I'm so close, Rick," she whispers, causing his pace to quicken. His thumb comes in contact with her clit again, and she's gone. Stars, bright lights, fireworks, every cliché there is, she experiences as her eyes slam shut at the wicked force of her orgasm washing over her.

He's right there with her, her muscles contracting around him, milking him for all he's worth, and his seed spills inside of her. He pumps into her a couple more times as she grips him.

She falls to his chest, their breathing slowly returning to normal. She can still feel him twitching inside of her, semi-erect, and her walls still fluttering around him. Her eyes close as his hand smoothes out her messy curls, and his lips meet hers once more.

She rolls off of him, both whimpering at the loss of him being inside her, and curls into his side, her head on his shoulder, and her left hand resting on his chest. Her eyes find her engagement ring and she smiles.

She kisses his shoulder and whispers, "We're getting married."

"Seems to look like it," he whispers back.

"I want to get married here," she says, "In that little white church in town; have the reception here."

"That sounds perfect."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

_Losing him is blue like I've never known,_

_Missing him is dark gray all alone,_

_Forgetting him is like trying to know somebody you've never met,_

_Loving him is Red_


	5. Everything has Changed

**Authors Note:** So last Friday, my mom bought me seasons 1-5 of this amazing show, you guys may have heard of it...Yeah, I've been watching Castle for over a week. Unfortunately, I had to take a break before starting disc 4 of season 3...work sucks. ;) Anyways, so here's this next installment, not a lot of dialogue...mostly just me attempting to get inside Kate's head.

Thank you to **Jensnark** for pointing out an error in the previous chapter.

Any and all mistakes are solely mine, as I am beta-less.

Hope you all enjoy!

Reviews are love, leave some!

-Krystle

* * *

A long time ago, Kate was the girl who dreamed about her wedding day. The dress she would wear, how many people would share the special day with her, who her groom would be. Every detail, she had planned out, of course, she was thirteen. When her mom was killed, that part of her was locked away; she didn't even once consider going back to the tiny shoe box of planning she did when she was a young girl. So overcome with sadness and anger that her mother was killed, and would never be coming back catapulted Kate into this frenzy. She convinced herself that she would never be happy again until her mother's killer was brought to justice. Either by the court or the bullet from her gun…damn politicians.

And then Rick walked into her life-or rather, she walked into his. At a book launch party, in the middle of an investigation; the murderer recreated the death scene from _Flowers for Your Grave_ making it look like Rick was the prime suspect.

She silently chuckles to herself, and looks over at the sleeping man beside her. She never admitted to him, he already knew, but from that very first case, she was hooked to him. She couldn't explain it then, and she can't explain it now. He was different from any man she'd ever met. Cocky, yes. Sexy, most definitely. Amazing with his daughter, beyond words. All of those little things were just the very beginning of her love for him. She can't pin point an exact date of when she was certain that she was head over heels in love with him. Truth be told, there wasn't a time when she _wasn't _feeling _something_ for him. Be it lust, love, hate, friendship…she's always felt something for him.

Until that wall she built up around herself all but shattered, she convinced herself that she wasn't worthy of him, his love, or anything he tried to offer her. Of course she wanted to listen to her head and just _jump_ head first into him, and what they could be…but that damned wall was there, and it was made out of military grade steel.

The room darkens as the sun slips behind some heavy storm clouds, and she smiles. She'd always liked the rain. Especially in the late spring, just before summer. She loved the smell of the rain on the asphalt after a dry spell, loved curling up with her latest book in her window, a cup of coffee and her throw blanket, lost in her fictional world, and occasionally watching the busy street below her. One night in May, the rain became so much more for her.

Her wall came crashing down, shattering and lying in a pile of debris in the far reaches of her heart. She'd almost died, again. Instead of Castle saving her like the first time, he had stayed away like he said he would. Hanging from the rooftop that night, she wanted to cry. Cry for being stupid, cry for the love she could have, cry for what they could be. She had heard her name being called, hoping it was him, breaking his promise and coming to her aid. When she asked about him, and was told that he wasn't there, she wanted to cry again. It seemed as though her life was falling apart before her.

And then, the rain came.

The wall fell.

She called, he ignored.

She knocked, he answered.

And now here they were. A year later, and her left hand has a new piece of jewelry. She brings her hand up to inspect the ring. It's beautiful, more than she could have ever hoped for. He's more than she could have ever hoped for; and she gets to spend the rest of her life with him.

A roll of thunder pulls her from her thoughts and she looks back out the window. She smiles when she feels him stir beside her, and his arm pulling her closer to him. She turns her head, looking at him as his eyes open, and she smiles.

"Good morning."

"Mm, morning," he returns. "How long have you been up?"

She's not really sure. She'd been awake for a while now, just thinking. She shrugs, "A while."

She runs her hand up and down his arm that's resting around her, and when he smiles, she can't help the flutter of her stomach when his eyes light up. He caught a glimpse of her ring. Her eyes meet his, and she smiles too.

"It wasn't a dream."

'_So it wasn't a dream?'_

'_No,' she giggles. 'You definitely weren't dreaming.'_

She leans into him, kisses him. "If it were a dream, I'd never want to wake up."

He kisses her again, bringing his hand up to rest on her cheek, his thumb rubbing along her cheek bone. When their kiss breaks, he rests his forehead on hers. "I love you, Kate."

She smiles, she'll never get tired of hearing those words leave his lips. "I love you, too, Rick." She sighs happily and her eyes meet his. "Can I ask you a serious question?"

"Of course."

"When we first got together last year, you asked me then if you were dreaming."

"I remember."

She smiles, "Okay, so, just out of curiosity: how many dreams have you had about me-us?"

He chuckles softly, "You really wanna know?"

"Yes."

"Well," he says, brushing a curl out of her face, "every time I closed my eyes-since the first time you brought me into the interrogation room-my dreams have been filled with you. Since you knocked on my door last year, letting the last brick of your wall crumble, they've escalated."

"How so?"

"Instead of dreaming about the many ways I could have gotten you into my bed-I've been dreaming about our future."

"What about our future?"

He runs his hand down her side, coming to a stop on her lower abdomen. "I've dreamt of you glowing, with a slightly rounded belly from a small piece of me and you forming. I've seen you rocking our baby in the nursery, nursing him in the moonlight."

Tears fill her eyes, and a smile graces her lips, "him?"

"I can only assume. The blanket is always blue."

She rests a hand over his and smiles. She leans in, kissing him once more-she can't get enough of him. When she pulls away, she whispers, "Well, when do you wanna start trying?"

His smile is immediate; she barely has time to register him rolling on top of her. She can already feel him on her thigh-just from talking about their future he's already ready for her.

"Now works for me," he says, smiling down at her and claiming her mouth with his as he slips easily inside her.

**-CB—**

They spend the day in the comfort of their bed, listening to the pounding of the rain outside coupled with the roll of thunder. They make love, stop to sleep for an hour or so, then wake to talk a while, always leading to more love making.

Neither cares.

Kate rolls onto her stomach, her arms folding over his chest, chin resting on her hands, as Rick strokes her curly hair. "You know, I've been thinking."

"About what?"

She smiles. "I don't want a long engagement, Rick."

"You don't?"

Shaking her head no, she continues, "I just, I feel like we spent so long fighting our feelings, and wasted so much time that I don't want to prolong it anymore."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, I want to marry you. Soon," she answers, searching his eye for any sign of a reaction. "I'm not saying now-although, I'd be fine with that. But I've got some vacation time saved up. I have enough hours to take at least two weeks off for a honeymoon. What do you say? Want to get married in a couple of months?"

"Are you kidding?" his smile wide, his blue eyes sparkling. "I would want nothing more."

She smiles, "Really?"

"Really," he repeats, pulling her up to him, kissing her, his hand caressing her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

_All I know is we said hello  
So dust off your highest hopes  
All I know is pouring rain  
And everything has changed  
All I know is a new found grace  
All my days, I'll know your face  
All I know since yesterday  
Is everything has changed_


	6. Fearless

**Authors Note:** Wow, so I suck for not updating this sooner! I've been trying to write for this...but every time I ended up staring a blinking cursor on a blank document. My inspiration for this story disappeared for a while.

However, I have to thank my #crosscrountrybff **alwayscastle2** for reading this. Oh, it's "Promotion Time": **alwayscastle2** and I have joined forces and created a joint account. We took 47 Seconds into our own hands in a story called _Wanted_. Look for our story under the name **alwaysxxknockdownxx** and please read and review it. We are so excited about it.

As always...

Reviews are love, leave some!

-Krystle

* * *

They finally drag themselves out of bed, deciding that food would be a pretty good idea. Sitting at the kitchen island, Kate watches him move about the kitchen. He's making them an early dinner, of what she hasn't quite figured out.

He turns to her, grabbing her hand, "When do you want to tell people?"

She smiles, "I wanted to tell people the minute you asked. I want Alexis to be the first to know, then Martha and Dad."

"You know," he says, smiling, "it will never cease to amaze me the relationship you have with my daughter. She's always looked up to you, Kate, and I'm glad that she's had you all these years."

She smiles back, "yeah, well, she made it easy. If our kids turn out half as amazing as she did, then I'll be happy. I love her, Rick. I know she's not mine biologically, but she's always been like a daughter to me."

He leans in and kisses her softly, he knows that when it's her time to be a mother she's going to be the best there is. He can't wait to make her dreams come true.

"So," Castle says, "I want you to go as crazy as you want with the wedding."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the word 'no' will not be in my vocabulary. I want this to be your dream day."

"Castle, it's your day too, you should have a say."

"All I want to do, Kate, is stand at the altar and marry you. I don't care where we are, or what the colors will be. I just want you and me, and our family."

"Cas-"

"Please, Kate. Let this day be about your dream coming true. That's all I want."

She realizes that she's not going to win this battle, so she just nods. "Okay. Do you think Alexis would want to help?"

"She might. I know mother will want to, and Lanie as well. Don't worry; you will be able to pull off an extravagant wedding in two months."

Two months. She'll be a married woman in two months. Smiling up at her fiancé, she nods, "I hope so, Rick."

**CB**

Walking down the isle of the little white church in the middle of the town, Kate's eyes fill with awe, and her face lights up. She turns around, taking in all the features of the old building. Rick walks up to her, and she reaches out for his hand, "Rick, this is so perfect."

Rick smiles, "You like it then?"

"I love it, babe," she answers, leaning in to kiss him. "I want to marry you in this church, with our friends and family watching."

"Then this is where we'll be married," he pulls Kate to him, "come on lets go talk to Father O'Brien."

The happy couple walks through a hallway, and when they come to a door, Rick knocks. They receive a muffled, 'come in', and Kate smiles as Rick opens the door.

The man at the desk lifts his head, and smiles, "Ricky Castle! What brings you here?" Noticing Kate the man stands, and walks around his desk, "and who is the beautiful creature on your arm?"

"Hello, Father O'Brien," Rick greats, shaking the man's hand, "this is my fiancée, Katherine Beckett."

Kate smiles, and also extends her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Katherine," Father O'Brien smiles.

"Please, it's Kate," she corrects.

"So, what brings you to my little church?"

Kate looks over to Rick and smiles, as he says, "We were wondering if you'd marry us. Here, in a couple of months. Do you have an open date?"

Father O'Brien smiles, "As a matter of fact, I do." He grabs his day planner and asks, "What day works best for you?"

"What day do you have open?" Kate asks, she honestly couldn't care less what day it was, she just wants to be married to Rick.

"I have one day in June open," Father O'Brien answers, looking up from his book, "How does June 23rd sound?"

Rick looks down at Kate who's smiling up at him. "Sounds like the day we're getting married."

Kate leans up and kisses him, "I can't wait."

**CB**

When they return to the house, Rick busies himself in the kitchen making lunch, as Kate sits at the island and watches him move about. She still can't get over how skilled he is in the kitchen. She knows he's skilled with his hands, so she shouldn't be surprised that he's a master in the kitchen. Even if it is making a sandwich for lunch.

Still, something has been bothering her since they left their talk with Father O'Brien. She feels like something was missing from their visit. Like someone was missing. He pulls her from her thoughts when he puts her sandwich down in front of her.

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes meet his. He knows her too well, and the old Kate would be scared at that thought and want to run, but she just leans into him, "Something was missing today, Rick."

"What?"

"When we were talking to Father O'Brien," she explains. "Someone was missing."

Their eyes meet, and simultaneously they say, "Alexis."

"Look, I know that I said I wanted this weekend to be just us, and I still do, but Rick, I don't want to wait to tell Alexis," Kate says, grabbing for her phone. "Let's tell her now."

Rick smiles. He never thought he'd find someone who loves his daughter as much as he does; and then he met Kate. From day one she's been a mother figure to Alexis, and he couldn't be more thrilled at their relationship. "Call her."

Kate smiles, and presses the 'Face Time' feature on her phone, and waits until the blue eyed red head accepts the call.

"Kate, hi!" Alexis smiles. "Hi dad."

"Hi pumpkin," Rick says, smiling at his daughters face.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you guys, but what about your weekend?"

Kate looks up at Rick and smiles, "Well, something came up and we wanted to tell you, and we just couldn't wait until we got home."

"Well, what is it?" Alexis asks, although she already has a small idea of what it could be.

Rick puts his arm around Kate's shoulders and says, "How would you feel about Kate becoming a part of the family?"

"Dad-?"

"Alexis, your dad asked me to marry him last night," Kate says switching the phone to her right hand and holding up her left, "I said yes."

"Oh my god!" Alexis shouts in excitement, "Really?"

Kate laughs, "Really! Are you okay with this?"

"I'm more than okay with it, Kate! You're already family, now it'll be official. I'm so excited! Can I help you plan? I'm very organized!"

"Of course!" Kate answers, "We already have a date and a venue though."

"Where and when?"

"Church of Christ, June 23rd."

"Oh, the Hamptons! And soon. Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me? Am I going to have a little brother or sister?"

Kate laughs, "No. Not yet anyway. I just don't want a long engagement. We've waited too long for the year long wait and planning."

"I agree," Alexis says. "Look, I'm so excited for you both, but I have to get to class. We will talk when you get home!"

"Okay, sweetie," Rick says, "Love you."

"Love you too, dad," Alexis smiles, "Love you, Kate."

"Love you, too, Alexis."

_'Cuz I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless  
And I don't know why but with you I'd dance  
In a storm in my best dress, fearless_


End file.
